Monday, December 08, 2003

A sillyness break

You need one of these every now and then. This is a transcript from this weeks SNL, the Weekend Update segment specifically:

FEY: Paris Hilton's name has been on everyone's lips these past few weeks. Here now in an exclusive interview with Jimmy Fallon is Paris Hilton.
FALLON: Thanks for coming on. As we agreed, we won't be discussing the scandal that's been in the papers these past couple weeks. We just want to find out about you, Paris Hilton. So, you're family, the Hiltons, own hotels all over the world, right?
PARIS HILTON: Yes, they're in New York, London, Paris.
FALLON: Oh wait, so there actually is a Paris Hilton?
PARIS: Yes, there is.
FALLON: Is it hard to get into the Paris Hilton?
PARIS: Actually, it's a very exclusive hotel, no matter what you've heard.
FALLON: I hear the Paris Hilton is very beautiful.
PARIS: I'm glad you've heard that.
FALLON: Do they allow double occupancy at the Paris Hilton?
FALLON: Is the Paris Hilton roomy?
PARIS: It might be for you, but most people find it very comfortable.
FALLON: I'm a VIP. I may need to go in the back entrance.
PARIS: It doesn't matter who you are. It's not gonna happen.
FALLON: Fair enough. Now, I throw a lot of events. Do they have a ballroom there?
PARIS: We do.
FALLON: Great. I'd love to have my balls held by the Paris Hilton. Sounds awesome. I'd like to check into the Paris Hilton.
PARIS: I don't think you can.
FALLON: Really? Cause I'll only be able to stay there like a minute and a half, two minutes tops.
PARIS: Good luck.
FALLON: Paris Hilton, everybody.


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