Wednesday, June 22, 2005

As goes Leno...

...so goes the nation?

Jay Leno: “And tomorrow, at the White House, President Bush will meet with the first prime minister from Vietnam to visit the United States in 30 years. Do you know why he is coming here? It's a lot easier than trying to get Bush to go to Vietnam.”

Jay Leno: “We tried that. We couldn't get him to go to Alabama.”

Jay Leno: “The White House spokesman Scott McClellan said it would be hard to create an artificial timetable for getting out of Iraq. You think that's true? We went in for artificial reasons, using artificial intelligence. Why not have an artificial timetable to get out?”

That last one is worthy of Michael Moore!

“On behalf of our producers Kathleen Glynn and Michael Donovan (from Canada), I would like to thank the Academy for this award. I have invited the other Documentary nominees on stage with me. They are here in solidarity because we like non-fiction. We like non-fiction because we live in fictitious times. We live in a time where fictitious election results give us a fictitious president. We are now fighting a war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fiction of duct tape or the fictitious 'Orange Alerts,' we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you, Mr. Bush, shame on you. And, whenever you've got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.”

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